American Horror Story: Coven – Season 3, Episode 13: “The Seven Wonders”

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AHS: Coven: The Seven Wonders

Well, pooh!  I was kind of disappointed with the finale.  It was just so anti-climatic.  That whole last scene, I just kept expecting Fiona to stab Cordelia in the back.  I suspected in the last episode that she had planted a false memory of her death so I really expected more fight from her.

I was happy with Cordelia being the Supreme.  I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be Zoe, that was too obvious.  Also, none of the other candidates were mature enough.  Fiona was probably too young when she became Supreme and never matured after all that power went to her head.  The coven definitely needed someone maternal to guide it and now Cordelia has a place to channel those feelings.

WTF?! Misty Day!  Of all the witches, she least deserved the fate she got.  Every single one of them had killed someone.  Even Nan.  All Misty ever tried to do was help people.  She also got the worst fate.  Is she going to re-live killing the frog forever?

I understand why Fiona was in hell, I don’t understand what Papa Legba was doing there.  He wouldn’t make a deal with her because he said she had no soul.  She didn’t practice VooDoo so he shouldn’t have been the one in charge of her hell.

Kyle is the new Spalding.  They are going to have to do something about his tendency to kill people though.  Especially with all the new girls moving into the house.  I suspect Spalding (where’s the baby?) will help him though, he’s always been about protecting the coven.

Favorite Lines:

  • “Balenciaga!!!” — Myrtle
  • “What is this?  Knotty Pine?!” — Fiona

Photo Credit:  TVTag and FX

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American Horror Story: Coven – Season 3, Episode 11: “Protect the Coven”

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AHS: Coven: Protect the Coven

Why, exactly, did Queenie even go back to the coven?  She really seems to strongly dislike or outright hate everybody there.  She was mean to Cordelia who has done nothing but be nice to her.

Where was Misty?  Everyone else’s powers have been getting stronger, hers should too.  She should have been able to get out of that crypt by now.

I was pretty disappointed in the turn with Delphine.  I think I mentioned in another post that I thought it was an interesting puzzle as to who was more awful Delphine or Marie and how 200 years could change someone.  I know a lot of people were upset that the show seemed to be softening a truly horrible person, but this is a fictional version of Madame LaLaurie.  This episode completely ruined that.  What was the point of trying to make her sympathetic if this was going to be the end result?  Why not make her horrible all the time?

I knew when I saw the description for this episode that Cordelia was going to get rid of those eyes somehow.  Yuck!

Spalding has a real “doll” now but, being a ghost, will he be able to care for it properly?  I hope it doesn’t starve to death.

All the young witches suddenly having powers they didn’t before is getting a little old.  I thought the whole point of the next Supreme was that one witch would become more powerful.

I don’t have much hope of Kyle and Zoe getting away unscathed.

Photo Credit:  Get Glue and FX

American Horror Story: Coven – Season 3, Episode 5: “Burn, Witch, Burn”

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AHS: Coven: Burn, Witch. Burn!

Just when I start to feel some sympathy for Madame LaLaurie, they show a flashback that kills it. What, exactly, did she do to her daughters?  They weren’t still locked up in the cages by the time they died.  Did she perform her weird experiments on them, or just keep them in there and torture them a bit?  What did she think was going to happen if her zombie daughter did remember her?  Her daughters hated her and she was indirectly responsible for their deaths.  Did she think it was going to be all hugs and puppy dogs?

Who really threw the acid on Cordelia?  I think Fiona might actually think Myrtle had something to do with it, she was hallucinating a lot when she was tripping on all the pills she took.

It never occurred to me that Fiona had Misty’s power.  I know the Supreme has multiple powers but because the Supreme has to be able to perform the “Seven Wonders”, I didn’t think they necessarily had all the powers that other witches have.  I saw her revive Queenie, but I thought she was just unconscious or close to death, not actually dead.  If that’s the case, why is she so afraid of dying? Misty resurrected herself after she was burned at the stake, couldn’t Fiona do the same?

Zoe sure went from wimp to kick-ass in zero flat.  It seems pretty obvious that the show wants us to think that she’s the next Supreme but I’m not so sure.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned watching AHS, it’s that they usually lead you one place and end up in the exact opposite direction.  Is Zoe more powerful than Fiona?  Marie LaVeau said there was some real power in the house now.  Was the chainsaw a nod to Evil Dead?  I really expected Kyle to show up and save her.  Where did he go anyway?

Myrtle’s going to be m-a-a-d when she comes back.  I wonder if she’ll direct her rage directly at Fiona or go after Queenie and the council members as well?  How does Misty know where to go?  She was drawn to Kyle and now to Myrtle.  What’s drawing her to those places?

Favorite Lines:

  • “Fiona wouldn’t like it.  I’d be more scared of her than the things outside.” — Queenie
  • “I doubt it.  You are, after all, the maid.” — Fiona

Photo Credit:  Get Glue and FX

American Horror Story: Coven – Season 3, Episode 4: “Fearful Pranks Ensue”

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AHS: Coven: Fearful Pranks Ensue

Ooh, those racist dudes messed with the wrong family.  Why were they hiding out in that barn?  Back in those days, stuff like that happened a lot and nothing was done.  Who were they hiding from?  Are those zombies in the “BRAINS!” sense?  They were physically attacking the bad guys but I’m not sure if I saw them eat anyone.

I guess Queenie got a little more than she bargained for when she asked Bastien to love her.  Why was Fiona so determined to save Queenie?  A few minutes earlier, she’d been all “Oops, I seem to have killed Madison.  Get rid of her.”  I fully expected Fiona to put her out of her misery instead of helping her.

What’s up with Cordelia’s husband other than he’s an asshole?  Is he an assassin?  The way he killed that girl (Kaylee?  Was that the actress that played the young Moira in the first season?) seemed professional.  He had a silencer.

When someone finally finds Alecia’s body, isn’t the fact that Zoe was running in and out of the house going to draw attention?  Did she ever find Kyle?  He disappeared and the next time we see her, she’s being interviewed by the Council.  Where did he go?

What’s Nan’s game?  Why did she call the Council directly about Madison and not go to Cordelia first?  If she was in the house at the time Madison died, does she know what happened?  She seems to be able to hear everyone no matter where they are in the house.

Cordelia really doesn’t have any of the cunning that Fiona does.  She just kept digging that hole deeper.  If Fiona hadn’t come in, Cordelia would have spilled everything she knew.  Maybe ask the Council why they’re there before you start running your mouth?

Leslie Jordan!  I love him.  His characters are always so bitchily funny.

Spalding cut out his own tongue so he wouldn’t be able to testify against Fiona?  Maybe he should have told her why first.  Frances Conroy was so great in the Council scene.  Maybe Myrtle should have bewitched Spalding’s hands before she questioned him.  Although, he told the truth so I guess she would’ve been pissed anyway.

Marie LeVeau is justifying a new war because of what Fiona did to Bastien but she’s really to blame.  Marie sent him to the school and he nearly killed one of the girls.  Yes, Fiona provoked Marie by sending Bastien’s head back to her (anyone else see the head blink?) but what did she think would happen?

If Misty Day shows up, can she heal the zombies?  If she can, does she restore their full health or would they just be alive corpses?  What I’m really saying, I guess, is can she reverse the decomposition?  And won’t Spalding crap his pants if Madison suddenly comes alive?

Favorite Lines:

  • “I so enjoy our talks.  Particularly since you lost your tongue.” — Fiona
  • “If she’s dead, it’s probably because she got wasted and offered the Grim Reaper a hand job or something.” — Queenie
  • “I’ve got a book of matches in my pocket and I’m just dying to light it.” — Myrtle

Photo Credit:  Get Glue and FX

 

American Horror Story: Coven – Season 3, Episode 3: “The Replacements”

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AHS: Coven: The Replacements

I wondered if Fiona had always been evil or if the power of being Supreme warped her.  I guess this episode answered that.  Always evil.  But, hey, at least she has her standards.  A couple of murders?  A-Ok!  Racism? Oh, hell no!  If it wasn’t for her propensity to kill people, I think Fiona would be a pretty cool lady.

Maybe Cordelia should team up with Marie.  Neither one of them likes Fiona.  Together they might be able to bring her down.

When Zoe was talking to Kyle’s mom, Alicia, I got a icky vibe from her and I was right.  How did Kyle end up being such a sweet guy, coming from that situation?  It’s a wonder he could even talk to a girl.  I wonder what he actually remembers though?  Did he attack Alicia because he remembers what she did to him in the past or because of what she had just done to him?  In his messed up mental state, he may have killed her because she wasn’t Zoe.

I couldn’t tell if Misty had fallen in love with Kyle or if she had more maternal feelings for him.  She’s very lonely though, so she could have just been desperate to keep him there for company.

The cute boy next door seems to like Nan.  Her telepathic ability would be pretty handy in snagging a guy, I guess. She already used it to figure out what kind of cake to take him.  His mother’s a bitch.  I’m all for religion but don’t be nuts about it.

Assuming they had sex and he didn’t just kill her, would Queenie and the Minotaur be considered bestiality?   Will Madame LaLaurie soften her opinion of black people after Queenie helped her?  She had already started to talk to her and, in her own twisted way, offer her advice.  Once again, I have to say how much I am loving Kathy Bates’ performance.  I think she might be stealing the show from Jessica Lange.

I don’t think Fiona intended to kill Madison.  Earlier in the day, I got the feeling Fiona was going to take Madison under her wing and teach her what she needed to know to become the Supreme.  I think she really wanted Madison to kill her, or at least that’s what she thought she wanted.  I’m not sure if I think Madison is actually the next Supreme but let’s say she is.  Since Fiona killed her, does that mean she will get better?  Will there be another Supreme chosen?  Madison will be the second witch to go missing when Fiona is around.  Even without a body, doesn’t she think someone is going to wonder?

Favorite Lines:

  • “There’s nothing I hate more than a racist.” — Fiona
  • “This coven doesn’t need a new Supreme, it needs a new rug.” — Fiona

Photo Credit:  Get Glue and FX

American Horror Story: Coven – Season 3, Episode 2: “Boy Parts”

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fx/ahs_coven_boy_parts

Jim!  I’m pretty sure one of the gator killers was Jim from The Walking Dead.  I wondered what happened to him.  😉

So, does Fiona control those two police officers forever or was it just temporary?  I wasn’t sure if she used a mind control spell or a memory spell.

If Zoe is the weakest among the witches, Madison has to be the dumbest.  Why would she take Zoe along on her excursion to the morgue when she so easily spilled her guts to the police?  On top of that, didn’t Fiona warn them to stop being sloppy and stupid?  So, Madison’s answer to that is to steal a spell, break into the morgue, sew a body together and resurrect it?  Fiona threw them against the wall for their last “accident,” what does Madison think she’ll do when she finds out about this?

The authorities keep a really close eye on the morgue.  Madison and Zoe had to have been there for hours before anyone showed up.

Misty Day could be the best friend Zoe ever has.  “So, uh, Misty.  I was thinking about having sex tonight.  Do you think you could be near by?”

I think there was a better way for Marie Laveau to punish Madame LaLaurie.  Her family didn’t deserve to be killed.  Yes, they helped her but not willingly.  I’m sure they were terrified of her.  Wouldn’t a better punishment have been for Madame LaLaurie to have to watch her loved ones grow old and die?

Miss Pittypat and Sabrina the Teenaged Cracker, lol.

I have a feeling that the ritual Cordelia performed is going to turn out badly.  Almost everything I’ve read or watched involving magic says that it has a price and blood magic is dangerous.  Cordelia’s ritual involved blood AND sex.  Either a sacrifice is going to be required (that she wasn’t aware of) and her husband is going to die or she’s going to get pregnant with some sort of demon baby.  Just a prediction and I’ll probably end up being wrong because I can hardly ever guess where this show is going to go.

Ok, so let me see if I can get this straight.  The original witch was a (presumably black) woman named Tituba who practiced Voodoo.  She somehow gave or taught her powers to white women in Salem.  Eventually, that led to two different lines of magic practitioners, Voodoo queens and witches.  From Fiona and Marie’s conversation, it seems that the two lines don’t get along and may actively fight with each other.  If that’s true, why is Queenie going to the school?  She said she descended from Tituba and she’s a human Voodoo doll.  Also, why does Fiona seem to be more powerful than Marie?

What exactly brought Kyle back?  Was it the ritual itself, Zoe’s kiss or Misty?  Misty said she was drawn to the morgue.  I assume the spell was what drew her.  Does Misty have to touch something to bring it back?  Was it a combination of Misty and the ritual?  She told Zoe she’d heal him.   Will he look more normal or still have all those ugly seams?

I could have quoted Kathy Bates’ whole speech from the last scene in my favorite lines.  The whole thing was sad and funny at the same time.

Favorite Lines:

  • “Did we just marry the devil ’cause I don’t know if I’m down with that?” — Zoe
  • “You’ve got a mean streak wider than your backside.” — Fiona
  • “Him, I didn’t care about.  I’d been planning on killing him for weeks.” — Madame LaLaurie

Photo Credit:  Get Glue and FX

American Horror Story: Coven – Season 3, Episode 1: “Bitchcraft”

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AHS: Coven: Bitchcraft

Anybody who has watched the show over the last two seasons knows how great Jessica Lange is.  The opening minutes of this episode proved that Kathy Bates is going to give her a run for her money.  Just sitting in front of the mirror, painting her face with blood, she gave an awesome performance, her face ever so slightly twitching.  If everything else about this season sucked, it would be worth watching to see these two together.

I know I can’t be the only one disturbed by the gang rape scene. I know this show pushes the boundaries of television shows, but that might have been a bridge too far.  I know Madison is not a nice person, but no one deserves that.  At least there was poetic justice for the ring leader.  What better punishment than being raped to death?

Is Misty Day dead, dead?  There was an episode of Amazing Stories called “Life on Death Row” with Patrick Swayze.  His character tried to escape and got struck by lightning.  After, he could heal people.  They tried to get a stay but he was executed anyway.  On his way to the morgue, a guard accidentally touched him and there was a spark.  He went around and got other people to touch him and the convict came back to life.  If Misty has the power to raise the dead, could she come back?  I find it hard to believe Lily Rabe was around just for that episode.

So far, it looks like most of the witches are bad.  Cordelia seems good but she’s trying so hard to keep her powers under control.  Fiona, Madison and Madame LaLaurie are all definitely evil.  Zoe and Marie Laveau seem good but did bad things (for good reasons).  We don’t really know enough about Nan and Queenie yet.  My question is, are these witches just inherently bad or does the power corrupt them?

What did Fiona expect to find when she dug up Madam LaLaurie?  She didn’t seem surprised to find her alive.  Does that mean that Nan’s power is only confined to the living and she can’t communicate with the dead?  I assume the potion that Marie Laveau gave to Madam LaLaurie was some type of sleeping death but wouldn’t she have starved to death or suffocated eventually?

Looks like from the preview, there is going to be a Frankenstein type plot this year too.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.  The show isn’t spooky enough…yet.  I noticed some pretty big names are listed as guest stars and not series regulars.  That probably means more deaths soon.

Photo Credit:  Get Glue and FX

Favorite Lines:

  • “When are you going to die and stop ruining my life?” — Cordelia
  • “C’mon, Mary Todd Lincoln.” — Fiona